Crazy Bella who Luffs Muffins
by Rainee-luffs-muffins
Summary: Bella wreaks the Volvo when trying not to hit a dog and when she wakes up she's a new Bella! Crazified and Insane she tears up Forks like never before with the whole gang with her new personality and a weird way of talking!
1. Volvo Pretsel changes everything

**A/N: Hey this is meh first story so tell meh if it really stunk or if it was good. Also I's talk a little weird (That's where Bella gets it) so please put up with meh. The characters a OOC and it could have some spoilers in the future. . .Also Bella is not a vampire but married to Edward. . .no Nessie. . .OMG! LOOK MEH FIRST SPOILER! Lol otay so now's I's going to shut up and let you read!**

**Regular-Bella **_**Italics-Alice **_**Bold-Edward **_**Bold and Italics-Emmett **_**Underlined and Bold-Carlisle**

*In the Volvo*

**Bella is something wrong?**

I think you should slow down. . .

**Bella you always think I should slow down. . .**

OHMYGOSH! A DOG!

*Bella grabs the wheel and yanks it to the left which drives the Volvo into a tree*

**BELLA!**

*Bella is knocked out and Edward runs her to Carlisle*

**Is Bella alright?**

**She seems alright. I think she may just have a concussion. . .**

_POOR BELLA! THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU EVER LISTEN TO BELLA!_

*Bella wakes up and looks very confuzzled*

**Bella how do you fell?**

*Bella looks from Edward to Carlisle to Alice*

Where is I?

_Bella you're in Edward's room._

*Bella's eyes widened and she falls off the couch*

*Edward, Alice, and Carlisle* BELLA!

*She starts rolling around in the floor giggling*

I's gots you's all!

**Bella don't do that!**

_Um. . .why is she talking all funny like?_

WEE!!!

*She jumps out the window but Edward quickly catches her*

**BELLA WHY'D YOU JUMP OUT THE WINDOW?!?!?!**

Cause I's hungry. . .

**BUT WHY'D YOU JUMP OUT THE WINDOW?!?!?!**

CAUSE I'S WAS GOING TO GO GETTA MUFFIN!

**Okay but don't jump out the window next time. . .**

*Bella runs into the kitchen squealing and runs straight into Emmett*

_**Hey Bella did you finally wake up?**_

Teddy! Let's go play with grizzlies!

*Edward runs into the room with a shocked expression on his face*

_**You have to ask Edward first!**_

Please Eddy!

**YOU WILL CERTAINLY-**

THANKS EDDY!

*She grabs Emmett and pulls him out of the kitchen and both of them run into Alice*

_Bella you're not going grizzle hunting!_

*Bella and Emmett*BUT WHY?!?!?!

_Cause you're in no shape to go!_

YOU'S NOT FUN SO I'S GOING TO MAKE YOU FUNNIFIED!

*Alice jumps up and down squealing*

_OKAY LET'S GO AND HUNT SOME GRIZZLIES!!!_

*Bella, Alice, and Emmett run towards the door but Edward is standing in their way*

**Carlisle will you please sedate her!**

**Come her Bella. . .**

*Carlisle holds up a shot and Bella eyes the needle*

NOES! YOU'S NEVER GOING TO TAKE MEH ALIVE!!!

*She rolls on the ground and jumps out another window but Edward runs outside and drags her back in*

WHY DO YOU'S TORTURE MEH EDDY?!?!?!?!

*Carlisle sticks her with the needle*

**It's for your own good Bella. . .**

But I's. . .didn't even get. . .MEH MUFFIN!

*Edward looks at Alice and Emmett who where standing aside*

**I'm going to give you a five minute head start. . .**

*They take off running and Edward follows them quickly*

_WHAT ABOUT OUR FIVE MINUTE HEAD START?!?!?!_

**Five minutes, five seconds who can really tell. . .**

I'S WANT MEH MUFFIN!!!

**A/N: Well that's meh first chapter in a hope-to-be story I's will want to continue. . .Also this is inspired by Nosuchthingashappilyeverafter's story Notes Galore! so it may seem similar. . .Well otay now REVIEW! ;p**


	2. Death Note

Regular-Bella _Italics-Alice _**Bold-Edward **_**Bold and Italics-Emmett**_

*Bella is writing on a piece of paper*

**Bella what are you writing?**

None of you's business Nosy Eddy!

**Nosy Eddy?**

_Bella are you done with your Death Note?_

**Alice why is Bella writing a Death Note? She is not going to die!**

Silly Eddy! Is to kill meh enemies!

**Bella since when did you-**

_Eddy you are stupid. . ._

**I take offence to that. . .**

_**I've finished my Death Note let's go and see if they work!**_

Otay I's finished meh, too, Teddy so let's goes!

*before Edward can do anything Bella picks up a bag of muffins, Emmett picks her up, and then they run off*

**Alice and Emmett are going to get it. . .**

*he notices Bella's left death note and reads it out loud*

**Mike-Muffined to death. Jessica-Muffined to death. Eddy-Dies from heart-attack.**

*Edward is staring at the last part when he drops to the floor for no reason*

*Bella runs back into the room*

Yes! I's killed Eddy!

*Carlisle walks into the room and erases Edward's name off the Death Note then leaves without a word*

*Edward comes back to "life" but is unconscious*

*Alice and Emmett walk back in*

_Aw. . .Daddy always has to ruin our fun. . ._

Let's goes and muffin Mike and Jessica to death!

_**Then let's go and pester the werewolves!**_

_Let's take Edward's Volvo! _

_**Bella broke the Volvo so let's take Rosalie's convertible and run it off a cliff at La Push!**_

_**After we's buy some more muffins!**_


	3. Messin' with a Werewolf

**Bella-Regular **_**Alice-Italics Emmett-Bold and Italics **_**Jacob-Bold **(A/N: Shoo werewolf!)

*Bella, Alice, and Emmett are driving around in the convertible*

_Stupid Werewolves!_

_**HAHAHAHAHA!!!**_

MUFFINS!

*Emmett drives off a cliff*

*unison* WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

*convertible crashes into the water*

We's sinking!

_Abandon ship!!!_

_**GOOD-BYE CRUEL WORLD!!!!!**_

Noes my muffins will's get soggy! *Bella jumps around*

_**S.O.S.! S.O.S.! **_*Emmett starts throwing a few toilet paper rolls around*

*Alice starts texting to Jasper* _You. . .must. . .become. . .gay_

*Bella falls and knocks all of them into the water*

**What are you doing?!**

*They all look at Jacob when they realize that the water is only knee deep*

KILL'S HIM!!!!!!!!!!! *Bella jumps up and grabs a metal baseball bat out of the convertible and starts hitting Jacob with it*

**Hahaha! That tickles!**

What's?! but you's said-!

**Psh and you believed me?**

_Let me help you there! _*Alice picks up the convertible and beats Jacob with it*

**For the love of food!**

_MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!_

*Jacob is beaten onto the shore and falls down* **Ouch. . .**

*Emmett who was still flailing around in the water gets up and runs over to Jacob* _**PEEPEE TIME! **_*Emmett unzips his pants and pees (Somehow) on Jacob*

**Ahhh! Stop it! EWW!**

*Emmett pees into Jacob's open mouth*

_This fixed my day after the Mike-Jessica incident. . ._

*flashback* (Okay same and Mike-Underlined _Jessica-Underlined and Italics_)

*Bella barges into a room with muffin in hand* MEH EYES!!!!!!!!! *she flails around*

*Mike and Jessica* AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

*Alice comes in behind Bella* _Oh snap!_

*Emmett comes in right after Alice* _**Mike's is sooooo tiny!!!**_

UNCOOL MAN!

_Hmm. . .no blood so. . .Jessica's cherry wasn't just popped. . .JESSICA'S A SLUT!_

_Hey I'm getting fifty bucks for three hours!_

REPMUH-EERT DNA EROHW EHT OT RED RUM!!! (A/N: Backwards if you didn't catch that) *Bella flings her muffin and runs out screaming "red rum" over and over*

*end of flashback*

_**All done! *Emmett zips pants back up***_

_***They all run off screaming and flailing around***_

_**A/N: Yeah so there it is. . .**_


	4. Snicker Muffin

A/N: Here's the next installment of this here FF! This week we have a special guest star who will be later revealed! Also I know the flashback of the last chapter was a little odd but hey, I'm odd as well!

Bella-Regular _Alice-Italics _**Edward-Bold **_**Emmett-Bold Italics **_**Rosalie-Bold Underline**___Special Guest Star-Italics Underline_

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight and the works, BUT I own 2/1 of the guest star's soul!

_We have a guest star!_

Why's we's have a guest star?

_I don't know!_

_**Yay! A new play toy!**_

Hoot hoot!

**Should I just disappear this time?**

Nu's Eddy-Heady 'cause you's getting me a muffin!

_**Muffins are the shiz!**_

*Edward gets Bella a muffin* **Satisfied?**

Yush! *goes to bite the muffin*

_Watch it!_

*Bella drops the muffin* Is a talkin muffin!

_Indeed I am!_ *the muffin turns into a teenage girl in a puff a smoke*

*Bella, Alice, and Emmett* Snicker Muffin!

**Snicker Muffin?**

*Bella, Alice and Emmett start to bow to Snicker Muffin* _O great and powerful Snicker Muffin!_

_**We ask to bask in your glory!**_

**Who is this Snicker Muffin?**

Eddy show's some respect for's the Queen of Muffins!

**Oh brother. . .**

_I am not your brother, sparklepire!_

_**I am not ashamed that Eddy confused me with the awesome Snicker Muffin!**_

_That would make me the sister of Snicker Muffin! Yippee!_

**BELLA! ALICE! EMMETT!**

Noes! Rosalie found's out about's our fun's ride!

_Escape!_

**Why'd I marry her?!**

_Flee, my disciples! Flee!_

**This is turning into a train wreak. . .**

You's not coming with us?

_Who said I wasn't coming? Not letting the Blondie be the end of me!_

*Rosalie barges through the door* **Here's Rosy!**

***Bella, Alice, Emmett, and Snicker Muffin* AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *they run off screaming and flailing***

**A/N: And so concludes our special guest star appearance chappie! So Review!**


	5. Preggs

A/N: I've made a chappie for the humans! Which isn't very interesting. . .at all. _Anyway _just read and all shall be revealed, or will it? Just make sure you read the charrie thing below because to fit in the other charries I had to change things up a bit.

Bella-Regular _Angela-Italics _**Mike-Bold **_**Jessica-Bold Italics **_

-School Cafeteria-

I's hate school. . .specially when's it's sunny!

*Angela sits next to Bella* _Guess what I just heard!_

What's? What's?

*before Angela can continue Mike and Jessica sit across from them*

_**You're not thinking about telling what I think you're thinking about telling, are you?**_

_Nope not at all!_

Ohmygosh! Jessica is Preggs!

_**How'd you know?!**_

I's have's the all seeing eye of the muffin!

_Wow. . .Well who's the dad?_

MIKE!

**How'd you know it was mine?**

I's remember's you two playing's bed bug and being's all snug for fifty bucks an hour!

_That's quite low actually. . ._

_**What you mean I got pregnant for cheaper than I should have gone?!**_

*everyone in the cafeteria looks up because Jessica has a big loud mouth*

Wow's this turned's uncomfortable.

_Agreed. . ._

**I regret my purchase. . .**

_**Well be prepared to help me raise it Newton!**_

The stuff's that happens when's the vampire's are away. . .

*Angela, Mike, and Jessica* Vampires?

Ums. . .YOU'S DIDN'T HEAR'S ANYTHING!

*Bella runs out of the cafeteria while tripping twice*

_Why'd she say vampires and then flip out?_

**Maybe the Cullen's are vampires!**

_**And this is going to be my baby's daddy!**_

_**A/N: Lol Good thing no one cares about what Newton thinks! Let's just hope this doesn't catch wind in Italy, or should we hope? I think I smell a chappie coming along!**_


	6. The War

A/N: Woo look at all those charries this chappie! And here comes another guest star! The war is about to begin, heheheheh. . .

Bella-Regular _Alice-Italics _**Edward-Bold **_**Emmett-Bold Italics **_Jasper-Underline **Rosalie-Bold Underline **_Snicker Muffin-Italics Underline __**Another Special Guest Star-Bold Italics Underline**_

I's brought's somebody!

_Who is it?!_

_Me!_

-Alice and Emmett- SNICKER MUFFIN!

*Alice and Emmett bow at Snicker Muffin's feet*

**Ehem!**

Eddy you's ish not important's!

**I think I am! ***he holds up a cupcake*

Le Gasp!

_It's her!_

_**My brother is consorting with the enemy!**_

If's this wasn't so's shocking I's would's congrats you's on you's big word Teddy!

_Edward's a traitor!_

**Back to the point. . . ***Edward throws the cupcake on the ground*

*in a puff of smoke the cupcake turns into another teenage girl* _**TA-DAA!**_

-Bella, Alice, Emmett, and Snicker Muffin- Glitter Cupcake!

_**Yes it is I! Glitter Cupcake, the best pastry the universe has ever seen!**_

_We must destroy her my disciples!_

Good's thing we's outnumber her and her's minion!

**That's where you're wrong!**

*Rosalie and Jasper break through the door*

_Jasper!_

_**Rosalie!**_

THE'S DOOR!

_**As you can tell we outnumber you!**_

_We're even, stupid!_

_**Not really because cupcakes are superior to muffins because muffins are just ugly cupcakes!**_

_Cupcakes are haters!_

_**It's what's on the inside that counts!**_

Cupcakes beat muffins in every single way!

**Yeah don't you know that beauty beats everything every time?**

**That's why vampires are better than humans!**

Oh noes he's didn't!

**Oh yes I did!**

_This means war!_

_**Prepare to beg for mercy!**_

A/N: THE WAR HAS BEGUN! Wow look at that, a not-so-simple disagreement drove a wedge between the couples! The rentals aren't present because they'd ruin all the fun, if you want to know. _Anyway this gives me a sort of plot to work with, which I'll mash together with a sub-plot. Boy do the oddest disagreements end in amusement to the readers! SO REVIEW!_


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